Ancient sage on the mountain top
Holds it captive,
A star in his lantern,
Intended to illuminate
The night wherein I am trapped.

I desire
To look to the sun,
But for now it renders me blind,
And even as I long
For its brightness,
I find I must close my eyes.

Much easier now
To feel you than see you,
Let your warmth bathe my face,
Wrap its arms about me,
Fill this dark vessel.

Within the light
My inert form waits
For your healing.

C.P. Warner
14 April 2000

NOTE: I was very ill when I wrote this. Undiagnosed hypothyroidism is no joke. I still remember how the tiniest exertion could wear me out for days at a time, and the day on which this was written, I was trying to work up the energy to leave my car and go into the market to buy groceries. Though my pen seemed extraordinarily heavy that afternoon, and my body felt near to total collapse, I was having thoughts and lucid moments, and jotted down my first draft on the back of my grocery list. Then I just sat there in the car and let the sun reach through the windshield and hold me.

It took a full two years of me getting even sicker before the situation was finally under control, and I began to reclaim my life. But first I had to come close to death a couple of times before anyone would pay any attention whatsoever.

Lab tests do not tell all. Doctors need to take the time to listen to what their patients are telling them, and not rely solely on test results! Not everyone fits textbook criteria.


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